SORRY! BATTLING THE RCA

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I haven't been writing. But I have been totally consumed in fighting to get my blog on the RCA's list of "blogs Rabbis should keep an eye on". JK. I just thought it was hysterical that one guy wrote "Welcome RCA Rabbis" on the top of his blog. No, I do not believe that my blog would qualify on that elite listing. Honestly, I think finals is a good enough excuse and I don't have to fabricate any other cool ones. I will be posting something more interesting shortly....

Halakhic Man and the Mentor/Apprentice Model of Ancient Greece

So I was talking to someone over Shabbos about the Rav in general and Halakhic Man specifically, and both of us noted the same danger in the youth of today reading such works. the problem is that we read Halakhic Man as a mussar sefer instead of what it is, a descriptive work. We are drawn in by the aesthetics and emotion of the Rav's compelling writing and somehow manage to convince ourselves that the experience of a few elite Briskers is the Talmud Torah experience, and is what our Talmud Torah experience should be, and in fact is what it is a few days after we start reading the book, since it has to be, since we convince ourselves that it has to be...and convince ourselves that it is a mere few days later. What the Rav was recording was an experience that grew and grew after years of sitting with his father every day over the gemara. Yet somehow we posit that as mere teenagers or even young adults, who have not learned even a fraction of the amount that the Rav learned, (aside from those of us who have-you are obsolved from this) we too can and must have the same experience. Furthermore, we think this has to be the experience, when as products of modernity and as individuals we will most definately have a different experience. THIS IS EXTREMELY DAMAGING! (But it is also true that it is a good way of convincing modern people that this a-priori system of thought, that ignores many assumptions that we have of the world, is the most worthwhile endeavor.) The same can be true of much of the Rav's descriptive work. It is positive and helpful in terms of bringing someone into his vision and religious experience, it helps to color our religious vision and experience, but as a moreh derech in the beginning. We all reach the point of disconnect when we realize that we can no longer read our Rav precisely because of what drew us to him in the first place! The Rav's descriptive style enables it to grab hold of our religious perspective, to almost shape our religious experience, if we relate to it in the least bit. There comes a point where we realize that is only helpful to open the door and then we crave our own autonomy, we want to create our very own "Lonely Man of Faith". It's the typical parent/child relationship. Some of us may even be upset at the Rav for shaping their religious perspetive, ignoring the help he gave by opening the door and letting in the light. And perhaps such a complaint would be legitimate. But hey! You picked up the book so blame yourself!

In connection to this, I was discussing with the same person (it was a 3 hour conversation) models of education, expressing my hopelessly ideal preference of the ancient Greek model of student and apprentice, which is somewhat similar to the timeless relationship of Rebbe/Talmid (aside from the homosexuality/sexual gratification). On the other hand, in light of what we just said about the Rav, as members of the modern, or shall I say post-modern world, we recognize the need for indivdual autonomy, for diversity, something that would not be available if one had a single teacher alone, and something that even in the world of Torah learning exists today. With the rise of mass education, and a parallel rise in Talmud Torah, more people know stuff. And although the revered Rebbe/Talmid relationship has dwindeled some because of that, because there are just so many people, and things have become less intimate, we have gained in terms of breadth and diversity. (Yes I know R' Akiva had 24,000 students. I know it wasn't always intimate.) But still, I continue to feel that there is a better balance that can be struck and that the personal and intimate relaitonship between a student and a teacher must be maintained if we value real knowledge and the process of its aqcuisition; if we value people and the discovery of some sort of "truth". The lack of intimacy defiles the knowledge and the people, making them both just like another i-pod or blackberry.

Ellie's Reaction to Shira's War against Brisk

"It is not enough to merely "perform well", and specifically when reffering to Judaism, it is not enough to be the perfect Brisker and be "mekayem all of the shitos" and all of their technicality to the hair. Not that I necissarily think that that is even part of the equation. But for those that that happens to resonate within their religious spirit. "
-Shira

Ellie's Reaction:
"Oh Shira, stop lying. You're just talking to the Brisker in you.
'Not that I necissarily think that that is even part of the equation. But for those that that happens to resonate within their religious spirit'-nice save. likely excuse."
Is that what you are thinking Ellie???
Hehehehe. :)

Figure Skating Stories

So I tried to post something on literature and art and me and Van Gogh and the public vs. the private/personal etc. etc. etc. but it deleted!
SO-
I don't feel like writing about that again. Maybe another time. Jess and Sa-we can talk about it at Starbucks with Ms. Milton this summer;) hehe-but Shira prob. won't be able to make it...oh well.
Anyhooo-
So having skated twice today(once in the a.m. and once in the p.m.), once on monday and getting ready to hit the ice tomorrow again in the a.m., skating is one my mind. (Shut up Jess and Flubs-stop laughing!!)
So I've been thinking a lot lately about the different elements of the sport. It's hard, trying to figure out (hehe-"figure") what to focus on, how to divide your time. And the question arises: is the purpose the program, or the elements themselves? Is the accomplished figure skater one who's jumps, spins and edge quality is superb, or is there an additionaly element involved that deems one "good".
Many may recall my frustration with the recent Olympic results. The men were fantabulous for the most part (aside from the beautiful Evan Lysacek's disasterous short) but the women left much to be desired. So much so that the practically unheard of Shizuka Arakawa snatched the gold medal with a very technically easy program compared to what should be expected of the gold medalist. But what bothered me most about her performance was not the lack of difficulty, although that is quite furstrating, but what I said was "she didn't tell a story".
Skaters are not just trained machines that are meant to land solid jumps and spin blalanced and quickly when called to. If that were the case skating would be just like any other sport: immense athletic strength. But a skater is more than that. They must combine all of the above and use it all to create a story on the ice. Sasha Cohen IS Juliet and Michelle Kwan IS Salomi, on the ice. These passionate interpretive performances require nothing short of pure artistry.
And I think in a sense I see this theme in life in general. It is not enough to merely "perform well", and specifically when reffering to Judaism, it is not enough to be the perfect Brisker and be "mekayem all of the shitos" and all of their technicality to the hair. Not that I necissarily think that that is even part of the equation. But for those that that happens to resonate within their religious spirit. We have to tell stories. Our lives need to be compelling, engaging. At the risk of the technicality sometimes. And to quote Krak/Shana and myself-since we both blurted this line out simultaneously one late Shavuos night in a little apt. on Rechov Amram Gaon-sometimes that's a risk you just have to take.
So the big question is: what do I skate to? The classic Romeo & Juliet, the theoretical "Man in the Iron Mask", which I still refuse to see (the movie) bc I want the music to have abstract and personal significance to me, not tied down by the actual story, or some grand piece of truly abstract classical music...perhaps tchaikovsky...?
Sorry this post isn't so cerebral. I'm just spewing about what's running through my head lately in the more active realm of my life...

university, america, and Yom Ha'atzmaut

It's 3:15 in the morning, my posterior tibial tendan is sending shooting pains throughout my ankle and up my leg and I can't sleep. So I figure I may as well post something new, despite my oodles of stuff to read for class.
So today was Yom Ha'atzmaut. I went to the tekes of sorts at YU last night which was interesting. So much could be said in terms of analyzing the science behind organizing a Yom HaZikaron/Yom Ha'atzmaut "tekes" for American Jews in America. But I'm not really so interested in picking that apart right now. What I did find most interesting however was the chagigah that took place after. And I mean aside from the fact that probably for the first time I didn't even notice or pay attention to how high the mechitzah was until much later...which is probably also due to the fact that everyone was focused on just dancing that it didn't really matter.
What I found so interesting about the chagigah is that I think I enjoyed it more than the chagigot I attended during my two years in Israel. So I was talking to a friend about this who agreed. And I think that this reality is probably true for a lot of people, although many may not want to admit it, and it speaks volumes on our favorite topic: The Year in Israel. Now of course I could choose many things to critisize about the year during which you leave your personal life and world, your family and people who know you, and travel half way across the world, albeit to Israel, and entrust your life and soul to adult individuals who you meet for the first time and then proceed to rarely speak to ever again after its over. Aside from the unhealthiness of that sort of experience. Additionally, the focus on change and growth, which can be seen as a positive thing, creates this certain environment that permeates and seems to lead the chagigah like a conductor. The pressure to have a spiritual experience while dancing, or to be really "leibedig" and convince everyone else around you that that is what the real spiritual experience in fact is, is tangible. Even to the best of us I believe. It is extremely difficult to really enter your own inner world while sorrounded by fast moving people and loud music. Possible, but difficult. And in reality some of us probably tap in and out of that "place", depending on the nature of the song being played, and the moment, throughout the duration of the chagigah, and some of us maybe tap in once, and some of us not at all. And some people might think that this is all nonsense and the extreme focus on avodat HaShem puts one in the right mode to be genuine on the dance floor, which theoretically it should. But something tells me that is not the whole picture.
What is ironic, yet typical, is that it took a college Yom Ha'atzmaut chagigah for me to really feel pressure free. And I don't mean just from the pressure around me, but from my own internal pressure, to "get there", to that internal place where I am with G-d intensely and constantly. Assuming that you want to actually participate, just genuinely, the university focus on individuality and pluralism promotes this type of naturaleness in all areas of life and it somehow seeps onto the chagigah dance floor as well.
I don't beleive that I had a significantly more spiritual experience this year, whatever that even means. I think that it was a very natural experience, the sort that stems from an appreciation of the natural self. This type of appreciation is not one which is engendered in a yeshiva environment, a place which has the focus of self-improvement, of harnessing the natural self, and in some places of actually negating the natural self. And many may argue that it is not even engendered at YU, an Orthodox university. However, you must admit that it is much more so than at a regular yeshiva.
Additionally, it took an American environment, on American soil, to engender that experience as well. A country that stands for diversity and free from the tensions of a single-religion state. Yet...what is a Yom Ha'atzmaut chagigah outside of Israel? Despite the pressures of an envrionment like Israel, they are what make it unique, they are what give the day significance, they are what contribute to the very nature and essence of the celebration.
My experience this year was very enjoyable and part of that enjoyment was the fact that I wasn't trying to "get there", to that place where everyone thinks everyone else is getting to, even in the most litvish of atmospheres, of clinging to G-d through fervent dancing, again whatever that means. The university agenda and the American philosophy create an environment that is conducive to individuality and the genuine experience. It is because of that that I think I was able to have a smoother experience. Finally permitting myself to "just be" in terms of lifestyle in general because of university, the result was an experience that perhaps got farther than others, and perhaps didnt. I don't really know bc experiences are hard to compare like that, being in a different "place" after each one. I do know that it sure was just more pleasant. But for all the pleasantness, was it significant?